Apple TV Review–It’s An Insulting Waste Of MoneyBy Jeremy Evans / April 4, 2017 / Tags: Apple TV, Cut Cable, Reviews
Of the major streaming devices, Apple TV is the worst. There’s only one reason to waste your money on this overpriced product.
The Cult of Apple
If you’re blinded by the aura of Apple–and if you don’t care about 4K streaming or HDR content–then you might enjoy the latest version of Apple TV (aka Apple TV 4). Of course, if you’re an Apple aficionado, you’re also not going to care that Apple TV 4 runs about a $100 more than a comparable Roku. And why would you? We all know that willingly paying extra money for Apple products is a rite of passage that brings a gooey sense of pride, contentedness, and entitlement to Apple FanBoys and FanGirls all over the globe.
I’ll pause this review of Apple TV 4 so the Apple acolytes can get their paper bags and either hurl or hyperventilate. Yeah, that’s right, I’m saying it: With Apple TV, Apple has created a product that isn’t just inferior, it’s an insult. Apple is trading on the fact that since many of its (early) products were so revolutionary–and worth the extra premium charged–its customers will be blind the deficiencies of the Apple TV.
Perhaps I should be more sensitive, as I have no doubt that many of the people reading this review already own an Apple TV.
Now, those of you who aren’t card-carrying members of The Cult of Apple may be wondering: Why would someone who already owns the product take the time to read reviews? Isn’t it too late for that?
My guess is self-loathing. Think about it: The Apple Cult Member has just overpaid–significantly–for this Apple streaming device. Deep down, the Apple FanBoy knows he overpaid, and he feels bad about it. But he can’t bring himself to acknowledge it, so instead he embarks on a mission to justify his poor decision. And that’s why you’ll often encounter an Apple FanBoy mercilessly hammering Siri with product-review search requests for Apple products he already owns–he’s desperate to glom onto any glimmer of positive feedback.
Apple TV Isn’t A Streaming Device. It’s A Joke
After I tried the Apple TV 4–and thought it sucked–I wanted to see if I had company. So I looked around the world wide web…and I could not believe the positive reviews I was reading. My hunch is that these reviewers are either members of–or afraid of–The Apple Cult.
Of course, the Apple FanBoys will respond that the overwhelming number positive reviews is proof of the superiority of Apple TV, and of Apple products in general. For a long time, I was persuaded by this line of reasoning: “Everyone loves Apple; Apple must be the best.”
Unfortunately, I kept running into one nagging little problem, which I first noticed after iPhone XIX. Apple’s products are no longer superior, and they no longer justify the higher cost.
Look, I get that people love many of Apple’s products. I have an iPod and an iPad; I think they’re great. But the Apple TV is a joke. And even though almost every review gives Apple TV high marks, I’m telling you–it’s a joke on par with the Apple Watch.
Crazy Is The Cult Of Apple
To highlight the lunacy of The Cult of Apple, take a typical review of Apple TV 4 from TrustedReviews.com. Keep in mind the following:
* Apple TV 4 costs 200% more than Roku–which is just as good, if not better;
* The gaming on Apple TV is lame–even by the reviewer’s own admission;
* About once a week the reviewer from TrustedReviews.com experienced an inexplicable device freeze that necessitated a complete reboot of the system;
* Apple TV 4 does NOT have 4K streaming, or HDR content;
* It has inferior parental controls in comparison with its competitors;
Nonetheless, like most tech reviewers, TrustedReviews gushes over Apple TV. At one point, TrustedReviews does acknowledge the poor selection of apps and channels one can expect from Apple TV with the following:
“There’s a whiff of tumbleweed when it comes to the Apple TV app store. There’s a smattering of games, a few dozen video streaming apps, and a few other bits and bobs. This is a far cry from what I’ve come to expect from the iOS App Store.”
BUT–and this is the best part–he follows up on the lack of apps and channels with this gem:
“Sure the app shortage is annoying right now, but it’s a good thing that Apple TV doesn’t just take the apps from the iPhone and blow them up to TV proportions in my mind…. So it’s better Apple’s making developers tweak their apps to work as they should on tvOS.”
In other words: Sure, Apple TV has no worthwhile content. But in the brainwashed world of the Apple Cult “it’s a good thing!” This professional reviewer actually states–with a straight face–that Apple is doing everyone a favor by serving up a barren streaming wasteland.
In the end, “TrustedReviews” rewards Apple TV 4 with an ‘Excellent’ rating of 4 Stars. Hilarious.
The wTVPC Bottom Line
Apple TV has an astonishingly elegant “iControl.” The iControl is such a glorious feat in design that it’s insulting to even refer to it as a mere ‘remote control.’ I’m not ashamed to admit I trembled as I held the iControl, and my eyes filled with tears. Looking back on this purchase, I am honored to have offered up an extra 200% premium over comparable devices to my Supreme Apple Overlords for the privilege unsheathing this technological marvel from its eco-friendly packaging. There aren’t enough stars in all the heavens to bestow on Apple TV, so I stand before you humbly submitting a score of 10 stars out of a possible 5.
Wait–what!? The new Apple TV iPhone app replaces the remote? Well, I tried.
Back on Earth, here’s my real bottom line for Apple TV 4. There’s only one legitimate reason to get Apple TV as your streaming device. If it’s vital for you to connect your TV to your other Apple devices to see photos and videos on your television, then the Apple TV might be worth the extra money. Otherwise, it’s a rip-off. You’ll be much happier with a Roku.
The videos in the orange tab above have nothing to do with Apple TV. I include them simply because they are funny and I enjoyed watching them after my experience with Apple TV.
These videos have nothing to do with Apple TV. (I already told you–it stinks.) But I thought you might enjoy them anyway.
This is funny, but it does contain language not safe for work.
My favorite line in this one is about the workers in Apple sweatshops: They love working 18 hour days–it’s part of their culture!
Straight talk from “Tim Cook”
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